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Dinner Party Fakes

Cooks at work.
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Foodie Sally Beerworth analyses why some dinner hosts fake their dinner food – pretending they have toiled for hours in the kitchen, only to have cheekily stuffed it in the oven minutes before. Cheeky….

After years of beating myself up for being domestically challenged, it gave me great pleasure this week to learn that even the most culinary gifted of my friends ‘fakes it’ every now and then.

A girlfriend of mine who I assume was the chef that Nigella modeled herself on (sexiness and all,) confessed the other night at dinner that she had faked the dish we had just eaten.

It was simple lasagna, which I know she more than capable of making yet she taken the bought lasagna and put it in one of her oven dishes to cook and for the homemade effect.

SWEATING OVER BEING FOUND OUT

When she asked if her confession made me love her less, all I could say is, ‘it makes me love you more.’ There is nothing sweeter than knowing that even the greatest of cooks has the odd night where they just cannot be bothered to spend hours up to their armpits in herbs.

It did make me wonder however on how many occasions she had faked it. Had she been faking it all along? Was our entire dining relationship based on a lie?

It made me pay all the more attention later in the week when I went to a dinner party. I actually caught myself looking in the host’s garbage bin, for evidence that she had faked something. Sure enough the avocado & chill dip which she claimed took hours, (which she preceded to go into nauseous detail on how she made it,) was in fact store bought. Admittedly store bought from an extremely expensive store.

HIDE THE BIN!

I could not resist the temptation of asking her more and more questions about how she made the dip, how many lemons were needed and how she managed to keep the fresh avocado from going brown. I did not have the heart to tell her that I knew the truth, especially in front of her guests. After all I had faked it often enough myself.

I have faked pies which I have really bought from the butcher, I have faked whipped cream which I pretended to whip myself and worst of all I faked pork crackling which I bought. I am embarrassed to admit I can’t even cook fat.

Why do we do it?

What is so wrong with admitting that you didn’t make everything from scratch? There are plenty of people out there propping up sales of Chicken Tonight. Yet it’s different when people come over.

SHOPPING FRENZIES

For some reason we feel compelled to put on a good show, in exchange for the cheap wine which your guests bring. There is a need to prove that not only can you cope in the kitchen but that you are the lovechild of Delia Smith. And it tends not to stop at the food, at the mention of a guest, I tend to go on a shopping frenzy for matching napkins and start polishing crockery that has never known so much attention.

A QUICK TRIP TO IKEA….

So how far is too far when you are faking it? According to one friend of mine she actually bought a new dining room table to host a dinner party, to hide the fact that she normally ate in front of the TV. It puts into perspective taking lasagna out of the foil. I think I now respect just how much time and energy goes into faking it. It would be easier after all just to host a lousy night.

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One Response to “Dinner Party Fakes”

  1. I’ve noticed your website a while ago, just recently did i start noticing it more and more. Very useful information, thank you and keep it coming.

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