SALLY BEERWORTH describes her very ‘un-French’ visit to the posh town of Cannes for the annual advertising festival for her work. Or should that be just an excuse to over indulge in the food and the drink? Very ‘un-French’….?

For the second year in a row I was lucky enough to be in Cannes for the annual advertising festival. My liver, (and several other organs,) would question my assertion that this was in any way lucky.

Last year I distinctly remember noticing that the only vegetable I consumed during this festival was the lettuce on a Big Mac. I have some vague recollection at being so appalled at the sight of this greenery, that I ripped it off my burger before I subjected my taste buds to anything so nutritious. I performed this lettuce extraction, much to the disgust of several locals who had made the mistake of staying in town during one of the biggest weeks in the advertising calendar. Similar to an advent calendar but it feels like Xmas everyday in Cannes.

HITTING THE BOTTLE

This year I prepared my body for the inevitable decision to not eat any food of any nutritional value by stocking my hand luggage with vitamins…and two large bottles of Smirnoff, which I bought duty free.

The reality is I found myself too drunk most days top remember to take the vitamins, although I did managed to arrange the bottles in height order. Again an act of drunkenness.

We did attempt to stock the fridge in our apartment with some local food from the supermarket. Although, I would not normally list Heineken and Nutella as the healthiest of meals. I also worry that we may have combined the two one morning.

PLAYING THE DRUMS

When we did eat it was distinctly Un-French. One night we hit a sushi restaurant. I say ‘hit’ because I have a vague memory of using my chopsticks to play drums on the wine bottles. I am unsure what the sushi tasted like, as we started with deep-fried something, washed down with vodka and coke….the way sushi should be eaten anyway.

GRABBING A KEBAB

We gave dining out another try during the England game. Had we known how bad the thrashing was to be, we may have avoided eating anything at all. It was my duty to do a reconnaissance of local’s places around the pub where the game was being screened. The only place open was a kebab shop and so our last chance to actually eat some French food was lost on a kebab. Although not entirely wasted, as it was the freshest kebab I had ever tasted. Admittedly the bar wasn’t that high. I cannot comment on the freshness of the lettuce though, as I ripped that off within minutes. I worried my body might go into shock.

As I scroll through the photos on my camera two jog my memory, I notice that there is a shot of some salad tongs on the lounge room.

If only they had actually been used on a salad….

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