Foodie Sally Beerworth talks about the fraught dangers of food when planning to go out on a first date with a potential partner. ArrangeMeADate’s founding co-owner Lexi Proud said a few months ago that it was best to take a date to coffee. It’s simple, and you can get out if the other party is getting on your wick….

Going on a first date is by all accounts one of the most stressful things that a human being is forced to endure…including chemical warfare. I have of late, gone of many first dates. Please note that the author acknowledges that this makes her very bad at dating not very successful. So best you take the below advice with this in mind.

After you have worked out what to wear, decided that your hair should have been cut a month ago, painted your nails, waxed your legs (please note I am operating under the assumption that some of this stuff is girl specific) and knocked back a shot of vodka, you then have to actually face the date itself.

WHERE’S MY WALLET?

If the guy is feeling brave he will offer to take you dinner. Dinner as we all know, is much riskier than a drink; you will have to talk to each other for longer and worse still it will involve eating in front of someone. Don’t get me wrong, food can be erotic but keep in mind that food on a date will undoubtedly be consumed whilst you are also trying to carry out a conversation. I am convinced there is a correlation between picking up and whether or not you have exhibited traits of a hungry farm animal.

Women (generally speaking,) have learnt that they have to order food on a date, or else the guy will assume that you are some kind of diet freak, which mean claim to hate. If you read Cosmo (of course I do not,) men insist that they like a woman who tucks in…. they on the other hand will also invariably say they are looking for a slim woman. Can you see why it takes us so longer to order? We are genuinely confused. So if we can’t order a salad what is left?

PICKY PASTA

Pasta comes fraught with issues. Whilst its perfect from the point of view that you can get away with picking at it, it is inevitable that most of it will end up on parts of you, other than your mouth. I have sat across the table before from a guy who had spilt food on himself…and if he is that bad at hand eye coordination, I held out little hope for the rest of the relationship.

As I don’t eat seafood (not allergic just clinically insane,) that leaves me with meats. I now pass on lamb chops, despite this going against all my instincts as an Australian. I cannot be trusted with them. I find myself being too tempted to pick them up with my hands, and after a few drinks I know I will be able to justify this decision to do just that. This means therefore that I am left with steak.

Steak has always been the ideal food and a first date is just one more proof point. You can cut it neatly and if you avoid asking for sauce, there is little chance that you will end up wearing it. After all you went to so much trouble to pick out your wardrobe in the first place, it is unlikely to improve with a splash of peppercorn sauce.

STILL WAITING FOR A PHONE CALL

By the end of the meal, regardless of what you wore, or whether you made the mistake of blurting out that you want kids, you can at least know that if he doesn’t call you it wasn’t because of your steak. This is sadly of no consolation to a woman who has been waiting for the phone to ring since Friday night. At least he paid.

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